lv2bliberal (lv2bliberal) wrote,

Transcripts: First Up Torchwood Innuendo Squad...

Since I've had several requests for transcripts of my Comic Con and Gallifrey One videos, I've decided to post them here as well as make them available through email.
Still working on getting them all transcribed, but here's the first one I've finished...

The link to my video....In case you haven't seen it....John and Gareth getting a bit naughty (Hooray!) at San Diego Comic Con - July '08

Now for the transcript...

TORCHWOOD Innuendo Squad John Barrowman Comic Con '08

Moderator:  Wow, this is going to be fun. I can just tell.
John:  I apologize now for anything said or done...I'm just kidding

OK John...Get this party started
Moderator:  So welcome. How was guys get in OK? Everything work out?
John:  Yeah...I never have a problem getting in...

Gareth: A Cunning Linguist?
Gareth:  I’ve been eating lots of Mexicans...

Torchwood Sexed-Up?
John:  I don’t know...I mean, I don’t know if you can call it more “sexed up,” I think it’s
Gareth:  Yes it is.
John:  OK it is.

Coat Sex: Safe Sex
John:   Yeah. No, but it’s funny because a lot of people always say to me about Capt. Jack, you know he’s... he'’s
always doing things with other people...Jack doesn’t really do anything...
Julie:  No. He keeps his coat on.
John:  Coat sex: Safe Sex.
Gareth:  Episode 11?...(screams of laughter)...There was no coat in the naked hide and seek.
John:  No, there wasn’t..Actually, that was very funny when we filmed it because both Gareth and
I were very worried about how everything showed, weren’t we uh...
Gareth:  Back fat.
John:  Back fat...And we, um, we a...that whole sequence...we have a laugh when we do stuff like that
because it’s actually, we can’t...we don’ don’t touch or do anything kind of weird, but I’m hand’s groping his thigh...
Gareth:  I accidentally put my hands down your pants, didn’t I?
John:  Yes, you did...(big laugh)...Very funny...I enjoyed it.

The Mysterious Shag
John:  Gaz?
Gareth:  What was the question again?
John:  How would you describe your character and what do you like about.....Ianto
Gareth:  Um... Ianto, that’s right...that’s who I play in Torchwood. Um...I like he has mysterious
elements to his character and the fact you don’t really know a hell of a lot about him, the fact
you haven’t seen his flat, or where he lives, or any of his background, and that sort of makes him
a bit more mysterious, a bit more interesting, and a bit more fun to play...And he gets to shag the
leading man, so that’s good isn’t it?...(screams...applause)...That gets me a lot of attention, so...

A lot of John in Jack
John:   There’s a lot of John Barrowman in Captain Jack,...and there’s a lot of Captain Jack...(laughs)...
I just realized what I said...
Gareth:  There’s a lot of Ianto in there as well...(wild applause)


Audience:  To of your fellow three panelists...Marry, shag, throw off a cliff?
John:  My fellow three panelists...listen, I...I wouldn’t...
Gareth:  I think we know one of those already, don’t we?
Naoko:  And I’m dead already
John:  I wouldn’t chuck anybody. What?
Naoko:  Kill me. I’m dead...
John:  She’s dead anyway. Ok, so, Naoko, no offense but you’re going off the cliff as a corpse...
(big awwww from crowd)...But... I’d shag her before I threw her.
Naoko:  Again?
Julie:  That is SO Captain Jack.
John:  Isn’t it, isn’t it?...
Julie:  it's like old friend Captain Jack and John (think this is right,but not positive)
John:  I think I’d...I think I’d have to shag Julie.
Julie:  Hooray!...I’m saying yes.
John:  Because I know, I know she has a wild side to her. Um...and I’d have to marry Gareth...
because I’ve seen him naked...yeah...Sorry, Jule.
Julie:  Season 6, and not before.
John:  Season 6

The Girls...The Boys...and BIG
Audience:  I was just wondering what kind of pranks did you guys get up to on set? What
was the funnest moments that you had?
John:  We do get the work done, but I like to have a good time when I’m working...
Don’t I, Gareth...?
Naoko:  It’s amazing what you get used to.
Julie:  It really, really is.
Naoko:  And you have no idea what’s been actually going on for the last whatever minutes
under the...
John:  under the, Eve Myles who uh...Eve who plays Gwen, uh, and plays it wonderfully,
Eve is uh...Eve will just look at me sometimes because, I call...We have nicknames. And uh, Eve’s
breasts are called “the girls” and mine are called ”the boys.”...and she will say things like...
“Oh, put the boys away”...yeah...and uh, I won’t say what Naoko’s is called...
Audience:  Say it!...Say it!
John:  And Gareth’s...Gareth’s is just called “BIG”...anyway...(huge laugh)...You so owe me...You
don’t know how much I’m building you up here!
Gareth:  I’m gonna be tired out in San Diego.

Eating Microphones
Audience:   I’m wondering if Torch...(man fumbles with microphone)...I’m sorry...Uh, I’m wondering
John:   Just pretend it’s me.
Gareth:   I’ve been holding my tongue. I thought no, I can’t say that...can’t say that.
John:   I apologize.

Threesome...A Forlorn Lisa
John:  Well, you’ll just have to wait and see because, know, without Tosh and Owen,
um, obviously it’s only, uh, Ianto, and Jack and Gwen, but uh...
Audience:  Threesome!
John:  What?...A threesome. Oh my god, you guys are as sick as I am, and I love it.
Gareth:  Lisa?
John:  No. Lisa’s gone. Lisa’s dead!
Gareth: Lisa?...Lisa?
John:  Um...
Julie:  I thought that was jealousy. I thought Captain Jack was being jealous of Lisa.
John:  A little bit, yeah. You’ll have to just watch and see because a lot of dynamics will
change...That’s all I’ll say. But, but um now Jack...that’s a funny thing cause every time we used to uh,
...that was one of the jokes on set...Gareth...We’d like pop a picture every so often, like many
episodes after the Lisa episode, he would...and he would this...I’d go “Who’s that over
there?” (points away.)
Gareth:  Lisa?

Russell the Puppet Master
Julie:  Yeah, Russell’s here somewhere, he’s under the table...
John:  I’m...I’m actually a hand puppet right now.
Julie:  I am so moving on to the next question! Stand back buddy...Hello...

He Grows and Grows and Grows
Audience:  Is there anything you would change about Jack
John:  Nothing.
Audience:  I didn't think so.
John:   No. And he gro... Every time I read a script he grows and grows and grows...and that’s amazing
(woman in audience screams)
John:  She got it. The rest of you are too slow.

When I want a little Doctor...
Julie:  And in our studio in Cardiff, the Tardis and the Torchwood hub are next to each other.
They’re neighbors.
John:  They’re separated by a curtain. So we can go from one to the other...When I want a little
Doctor, I go that way...When I want a little Ianto I go that way...

End Credits at 9:51
John:  There’s a little bit of innuendo in there.
Julie:  There’s HEAPS of innuendo!

In case you're interested...I'll be posting more  transcripts for my other Comic Con and Gallifrey One videos in the next two weeks. 


Tags: gareth david-lloyd, gay, john barrowman, julie gardner, naoko mori, san diego comic con, sex, torchwood

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