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Ianto dirty thoughts

Perhaps You've Watched It and said, "Shit this audio sucks!".....Well, Now You Can Read It.

Hello boys and girls, it's Transcript time again...

First, the Video:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvl6Prmt5Gk&feature=channel_page&fmt=18

TORCHWOOD Innuendo Squad TWO...Gareth David-Lloyd & Kai Owen at Gallifrey One

OK Gareth, It's Your Turn...
Get this Party Started with a Bang

Audience:  John Barrowman has said that there's a lot of him in Capt. Jack, but,  you know, when it comes to Ianto, you and he are quite a bit different...
Gareth: There's a lot of him in Ianto as well.

Hey, It's a Legitimate Question
Audience:  Is Ianto a top or a bottom?
Kai:  Sorry. What was this?
Gareth:  A top or a back?
Audience:  Bottom.
Gareth:  Top or a bottom.
Audience:  Not front or back. Top or bottom?
Audience 2: Is he a giver or a taker?
Kai:  (indiscernible)
Gareth:  Well, I should imagine a bit of both. It's always nice to mix things up, isn't it? I think Ianto's probably the more dominant most of the time because Jack's in charge all day and everything. He'd go for a bit of role reversal when anything happens in the bedroom.

It's a Welsh Thing
Audience:  Does Rhys have a thing for sheep?
Gareth:  Does Rhys have a thing for sheep?
Kai:  Yeah, he's Welsh, of course he does. We shag 'em, you eat 'em.

We Know John's Answer...What Do You Guys Think?
Audience:  Of the cast of Torchwood, main characters, Kai included... uh...Marry, shag, throw off a cliff?
Kai:  Good this.
Gareth:  Um...Is it just for me or for Kai as well?
Audience: Both.
Gareth:  You go first. You can set the tone, then I...
Kai:  I'd chuck Naoko off the cliff.
Audience:  She's already dead.
Kai:  Oh. Oh, Oh...Oh God! So I'll have Ianto...OK. I'd chuck John off the cliff, I'd shag Gareth and marry Gwen.
Gareth:  I thing I'd probably...push Gwen off the cliff...otherwise..not like she's...she's taken first off...and you know, um...I'd shag John and marry Kai.

A Kinky Proposition
Audience:  Who would be more likely to cheat? Would it be Rhys or Ianto?
Gareth:  To...?
Audience:  Cheat...on either Jack or Gwen
  Oooo...That's a...I don't think either, either of them. I think probably Ianto...but it would be Jack's idea.

One Rule...Winner Take All
Audience:  What are the rules for Naked Hide & Seek?
Gareth:  What are the rules for Naked Hide and Seek? Well, if you ca...you catch the other one, you can fuck him. Quite simple.
Toby Hadoke:  That's not what I told my son when he asked me the same thing.....But I'll relay the information.

Beanstalk Panto
Gareth:  Yes, well probab...I really would...yeah, I'd like to do pantomime. Anyone's offering? Could do it here, it'd be great.
Toby:  When's the beanstalk gonna grow? I don't know, I'll start the stopwatch.
Gareth:  *mimics stopwatch* Oooooooo
Toby:  I'd be a hit.
Gareth:  Oh mister giant, you're massive.

Honey, I'm Home
Gareth:  Uh... I think, I think Ianto lives in the hub.
Audience:  Oh, you think he lives in the hub now.
Gareth:  Yeah. I think he lives down Jack's manhole.

"Doing John"
Toby:  Was it always intended that he (James Marsters) do John with an English accent? Or did they ask him to do Amer...
Gareth:  He did John with an English accent? (in an English accent) Oh, you like that, don't you big boy?

A Bedtime Story
Audience:  Using child appropriate language, can you talk about one of those stories on the set that you're not supposed to talk about...censoring of improper words.
Gareth:  Child appropriate yeah. Goo goo ga ga ga ga goo goo ga ga ga goo goo....
Kai:  Once upon a time...
Gareth:  There was a...there was a man with a LARGE member
Kai:  Yes. And we get to see it...
(In unison) Gareth:  Every day
                     Kai:  Quite a lot

Jack in a Scrum
Gareth:  Yes. That person with the arm.
Audience:  Are they ever going to get Jack to a live rugby match?
Gareth:  Ever gonna get Jack to a live rugby match...um...I think he goes secretly anyway.
Kai:  Yes. Thirty men. Sweaty big strong men. I think Jack's already been there...unbeknownst to them in the old changing rooms after.
Gareth:  He only bought the long coat because of the rugby.

A Welsh Lesson
Audience:  For everything you do on the show, and for coming here and being such great guests, I just want to say Diolch yn vowr.
Awww....That means Thank You in Welsh. Then I could say...you'd say...I'd say Croeso. It means You're welcome.
Gareth:  No it doesn't.
Kai:   It means Tittie. No it does...It means you're welcome.
Croeso i Cymru...Welcome to Wales
Gareth: da iawn
Kai:  da iawn. Very good. That means...it's very good.
Gareth:  Hello
(points to next questioner)
(Welsh)...Do you want sex?...(Welsh)...I've had sex....(Welsh)...I want sex.
Peachiachavna (or something like that in Czech...maybe) is... Your fanny is red...in Czech Republican.

Is That a Gun in Your Pocket?

Gareth:  Well, my favorite suit um...is the one I wore in in the third season, um...
Kai:  The gray one.
Gareth:  Yeah, the gray one with the pin...
Kai:  Yeah...a lovely suit that one.
Gareth:  I think I'd been to the gym, so it was slightly cut better on me as well
Kai:  Absofrissinlutely.
Gareth:  There's one scene, I'm walking in front of...I'm on the telephone...It's me...I'm on the telephone walking the street...you can see...you can see the shape of my (nods toward crotch) Very impressive.

Body Language
Audience:  So I've read recently an analysis of body language in Torchwood. Was online and it made me curious...
Gareth:  *changes posture...speaks for itself*

Playing With Food
Audience:  What was your thought process as far as what Ianto was going through during that episode (Something Borrowed) particularly when he cut in on Gwen and Jack dancing?
Gareth:  Um. Well I thing if...the possibility of Eve joining uh, Jack in some type of sexual excursion probably, you know, he probably thought, Hey sweet, fresh meat.

What's a Mickey
Gareth:  Slip a what in their drinks? A mickey? Is that like Rohypnol? It is Rohypnol...Got loads of that. I'm joking...joking...(to Kai) Drink. Drink.

Dream Ride
Audience:  Uh...I just wanted to ask you, what's the one thing you haven't gotten a chance to do as your character that you would like to do in a future episode?
Gareth:  Ride a panda.
Kai:  uh...Have sex with Capt. Jack.
Gareth:  Ride a Yankee.

Roast Orgy
Kai:  I, I um I do like spicy food. I do like Indian curries and food like that.
Gareth:  Oh yeah...yes.
Kai:  Very good. And there is of course, you know, there's always a good pizza and the traditional Sunday, Sunday roast, um...That's that's sort of good. Mam's, mam's cooking is good. A curry I think, yeah. Oh, I love curry...excuse me.
Gareth:  Curry. Chile. I was going to say the same stuff...it's lovely...curry, chile, anything...anything that's got a ki...a kick up it's ass really...
Kai:  Yeah.
Gareth:  Sunday roast
Kai:   Yes. Oh, oh yes.
Gareth: (indiscernible) Yorkshire pudding...stuffing...awww...
Kai:  YEAH!
Gareth:  Nothing quite like a good stuffing.

Mack the Mic
Gareth:  Ok. Mack the Mic
Kai:  It's wet
Gareth:  I've been dribbling on it.
Kai:  Thinking of Sunday roast
Gareth:  I know.

Next up....Parts 1 & 2 of my 7 Part TORCHWOOD Comic Con Panel


I think that one line of Kai's that you can't make out is something about 'pitching' and 'catching', which is what they call top/bottom in Britspeak.

No. Don't think so. I listened to it several times to try and fit in those two words somewhere, to no avail. Thanks for the suggestions though, I'll take all I can get. HA! It's become a challenge now...and I'll be damned if I'm going to let fast talking Kai beat me. :-D
Re The Girls the Boys and Big, I think at the end Gareth says 'how to be tired out in San Diago' could be wrong. Thanks so much for the trascrips, I am a Brit, I used to live in Wales, I had a Welsh uncle and I still missed a lot of it. Those boys are so much fun! And you are rigth, Brits don't talk about 'pitching and catching', we say 'top and bottom'. There may be other phrases of which I am unawear, but not 'pitch and catch' I suspect, since those are baseball terms.
Also want to thank you for the vids, the origionl inuendo squad is my prozac, along with 'the gay off'.
Awww...Glad to be of prozac-like assistance. =D

I'll check out that about the end of Girls, Boys & Big. Thanks.

Less than three weeks until I'll be down there again with John...and David this time too. Can't wait! Hope to be uploading lots more as soon as I get back, so please stay tuned.